James Fridman Foundation

We're here to help and support children and young people affected by social issues.

Registered address

3d Floor
86-90 Paul Street
London
EC2A 4NE​

Make a difference

Help us to create a world where all children and young people are happy, valued and understood.

Search

Parenting: "No child should be forced and conditioned to fulfil your lost dreams"





Everyone has their opinion on having children.


Some want a big family, with a gaggle of children running around the house. Others are more into a single-kid-parenting. Of course, there are those who get shudders just thinking about being a parent.


However, no matter how many (or how little) kids you wish to have, you have certain preconceptions of what parenting should be.


Some aim for the strict approach, others aim to let their kids have their freedom. Yet no one seems to have the right way to do it. And it’s probably because a single way to raise a child doesn’t exist. All we can do is adapt and take pointers here and there to make it the best experience for both, the parent and the child.


One internet user shared her opinion about parenting that gained attention and sparked a discussion, prompting people to post their experiences and opinions.


Don't have kids if you cannot accept that children will grow into a whole person with their own thoughts, ideologies, sexuality, preferences, beliefs and values. No child should be forced and conditioned into a mini you or fulfil your lost dreams. Don't have kids if that's your plan.

- badtarneez_/Twitter


The tweet quickly sparked a discussion on the platform, prompting people to share their experiences and opinions:



Also, if you DO believe that you CAN force and condition your child/children into a mini you, or want them to fulfil your lost dreams, here's a tip: They may take it. But know that these actions will push them further away. Until that poor kid has had ENOUGH and takes a running, Diana-Wonder-Woman-esque leap off of a cliff to swim into the great sea of the unknown. And you'll have lost them. Probably forever. Because no person can or should control—or even try to control—another human being. And if you're lonely? Confused? Angry? And you react to those emotions by AMPING UP the attempts to control and condition that child? You will remain alone. And you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

- rohanrider3/Tumblr


As a parent I fail to understand how I can look at my daughter as an extension of myself. I often apologise for accidentally hurting her or taking something out of her hand that was given to her, but I didn't realise it. I look at her in awe and excitement because she's gonna carve her own path in life and I can't wait to join her on that journey, guiding her and watching her grow.

- vvitch-mist/Tumblr



Can I just say this is why I love my parents is that they never tried to mold us into anything other than good people... Like they never made do any extracurriculars if we didn't want, neither of my parents 'forced' art onto me, it was something I got into myself and they supported it. My middle name is Cristina, but my mom purposely left out the 'H' because she was like 'I didn't know if you'd want to have 'Christ' in your name and if you'd choose to be atheist or whatever I was sure you'd appreciate that I left it out.' My parents aren't perfect. My dad tries to participate with my artwork but a lot of the time it turns into criticism and that's when my mom steps in with 'you're not the artist, let her work' and then he backs off.

- floral-and-fine/Tumblr


Kids should be allowed to express themselves in a safe and non-harming way. While my youngest was growing up we were not sure if she was going to be trans, gay, or straight. We allowed her to come to terms with who she is as a person and allow her to express her individuality as best as we could. She is still fighting with who she is, but she does know that she is loved and supported.

- Jodi Ellis/Bored Panda


by Giedre





346 views